The Festivus Kiosk

Read about folks' grievances—not just of the "Seinfeld" variety—here.

The Second Annual PH4H Empanada Bowl

Sign up here to play. For historical reference, see here and here.

What a guy

OK, so this morning they arrested the governor of Illinois. Seems he allegedly "conspired to sell or trade the vacant Senate seat in exchange for financial benefits for himself and his wife." Well, at least ... what's that? The FBI says he also thought about "appointing himself to the Senate seat, saying he was 'stuck' at governor and might have access to more resources as a senator than as a governor." Good, then. Did you know that a friend of ours — wait. Huh? The guv and his chief of staff also apparently dabbled in the efforts of the Tribune Company (that fine, financially something institution) to sell the Cubs, not to mention the financing or sale of Wrigley Field? And said "that state assistance would be withheld unless members of the Chicago Tribune's editorial board were fired," because Blago "saw them as 'driving discussion of his possible impeachment'"? This is starting to sound serious. Anyway, our friend interned for Blagojevich when he was a member of the U.S. House. And ... hold on. The attorney says the governor "was looking to pull $8 million in funding for a children's hospital after the hospital's chief executive officer did not give a $50,000 contribution to the governor's campaign." Well, that's a winner.

There is one heart-warming note to the story. Tomorrow is Blagojevich's birthday. (I hear bail money is big in gift-giving circles these days.) Also, the Trib might sell some extra newspapers. And, last but not least, I know how to spell "Blagojevich."

I say, bring back the last guy. Oh, crap.

Merry Hanukkah

Someone organizes a Christmanukka party, and the next thing you know, the White House puts a Christmas tree on its Hanukkah invitation.

Eww

Sign in the elevator in my building: "Please do not pour holiday grease down your kitchen drain, as it may potentially back up your kitchen drain and your neighbors."

Here's to not having clogged neighbors.

Who I might see at the neighborhood mall

Gaggles of annoying 8th-graders. Younger children with harried-looking parents. The prime minister of Italy.

We're funding what?

According to a Washington Post article about jobs that will be vacated when Bush leaves office, "Many of the positions are highly specific, such as assistant secretary for terrorist financing at the Treasury Department." Shouldn't that be against terrorist financing?

Gone South

Time to end the PH4H hiatus with news that North Carolina is the new Virginia (look for the map about 2 minutes in).

The Great Schlep

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

Neighborhood non-emergency of the month

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/25/AR2008092501773.html

What will happen next month? Stay tuned! In the meantime, it seems as though you may want to stay away from me this week.

Abnormally fast vibrato

About 7:45 last night, running about 5 minutes late for orchestra rehearsal, I was behind this guy on 395.

I mean that literally: I flashed my headlights at him because he was driving without his lights on. Then two police cars sped past, soon to be joined by about two dozen more. I could see the first couple officers get out, guns drawn, and take cover behind their cars, which were probably 100 feet in front of me with a couple of civilians' cars between us. The suspect's car was also in my line of sight, which was a bit disconcerting, seeing as how I was not taking cover behind my car.

Eventually the police at the back of the, um, convention? directed those of us who were stuck to get off on the GW Parkway going south, so I turned around at the airport and eventually got to rehearsal ... only about 25 minutes late, and without getting shot. It was a good day.

WTF?

Former Mets minor league pitcher turned actor on trial for killing his girlfriend's cat.

The annual Ricky Williams update

Clearly we've been ignoring Ricky Williams, the original PH4H poster-boy, for too long. To get our attention, he's gone ahead and negotiated his own contract extension.

Tip: Do not wear around neck

Washington Post, page 1 of the Sports section:
Cejudo Done Grappling With the Past
Freestyle Wrestler Puts Hardscrabble Life Behind Him, Wins 55-Kilogram Gold Medal

(This one's for all you heavy medal fans out there.)

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Here's why lunch lasted 2 and a half hours. 15th and I streets NW? Say, that sounds remarkably like the front of my office.

But at least it was not an actual emergency. The all-clear came 45 minutes ago, and to look outside my office window now, you wouldn't know anything happened.

Which doesn't mean it wasn't nerve-racking.

This is Not from The Onion

This is a real headline from the Israeli newspaper Ha'aretz:

"Two Jews and a Black Man Help Phelps Fulfill Olympic Dream"

It's not the U.S. News and World Reports rankings, but . . .

. . . the University of Florida is ranked as the #1 party school in the country.

I am so proud.

How bad are the Nationals?

Well, apart from the fact that they have now lost 9 in a row, they are the punchline of baseball jokes.

Illinois' Twin Cities in the news

My hometown of Bloomington-Normal has been in the news the past couple days, one story cool and the other really not cool.

The FAIL blog

Thanks to Collarbone High for pointing this out today.

Time for Some Campaignin'

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

They couldn't retake this?

I nominate the Orioles' Adam Jones for the worst mug shot ever.

Thanks, Jeff and Amy

... for having an indoor wedding, under the circumstances.

Save the press

It's not about bobblehead dolls or empanadas, but I agree with this blog about the collapsing newspaper industry. Which, of course, is only available online.

Where empanada bets go to die

I just came across an article from the NYTimes a couple weeks ago about food at baseball stadiums. Click on the interactive map, then click on Miami. Think we'd make fewer empanada bets if losing meant immediate payoff at the ballpark?

Hebrew Nationals ... and Angelos

"Peter Angelos" and "American Friends of Lubavitch" have now been mentioned in the same sentence—with "Nationals Park" appearing in between. According to an item near the end of yesterday's "Reliable Source" column in the Post,

"Peter Angelos [was spotted] at Nationals Park, of all places, for the annual American Friends of Lubavitch benefit dinner on Monday. The Orioles owner joined Nationals owners Ted and Mark Lerner to honor team President Stan Kasten; Rabbi Levi Shemtov gave a shout-out for two kosher hot dog stands at the new ballpark."

I heard the Pope gave a shout-out for the kosher hot dogs when he visited Nationals Park, too. But my sources aren't reliable.

Javon Walker

I would like to move that this year's PH4H football league be named after Florida State alum and recent mugging victim Javon Walker.

Even though he's only been a fair-to-middling PH4H-league player, being found unconscious on a Las Vegas Street after a night of partying is just about as PH4H-worthy as you can get -- without getting arrested.

Pop the champagne!

A new karaoke record has been set: 39 hours straight! That's a lot of "pour some sugar on me" ...

A very PH4H trade.....

The Calgary Vipers have traded pitcher John Odom to the Laredo Broncos for....

10 bats.

"They just wanted some bats, good bats -- maple bats," Broncos general manager Jose Melendez said.

Pat Sajak Bobblehead Giveaway

If anyone's near Bowie on Sunday, they can they stop by the Baysox game to get a Pat Sajak bobblehead.

What this has to do with minor league baseball, I haven't quite figured out.

Ross Hashanah

This would not be a good day in the PH4H league

Just wanted to point out that my alma mater has the awesomest baseball player ever:

The Seminoles catcher played all nine defensive positions -- and hit a grand slam -- in a 10-0 seven-inning victory over Savannah State on Monday.

Carlos Delgado's Agent is a 9-Year Old?

Judging from this email exchange between Carlos Delgado's agent and a reporter, the 9-year old might be more mature.

Only one of these is supposed to be funny

1. Speaking of The Onion, have you all seen their article about Ryan Zimmerman hitting a ball into the Capitol Rotunda?


2. And, speaking of Ryan Zimmerman, has anyone else read his blog?

"30 Years of Man's Life Disappear in Mysterious 'Kansas Rectangle'"

The Onion features a front-page story about Kansas this week. Makes me think back to wanting to steal the "Leaving Kansas" signs they post as you exit the state—to make you feel good about leaving, I suppose. Other highlights of the drive across the state, which apparently I should be glad I survived:

• Billboards advertising the world's largest prairie dog and a six-legged steer. It's a big tourist destination.
• A sign at a (closed) western Kansas gas station that read, "This station guarded by shotgun three nights per week. You guess which three."

Professional Panhandler: Girl Pretends to be Homeless to Pocket Cash

Can anyone say, "EMPLOYEES"???

http://www.breitbart.tv/html/84523.html

I am speechless

Speechless with pride, of course, for my alma mater has named its first Kenneth Lay Chair in Economics.

Up next: Princeton's Eliot Spitzer Chair in Ethics. No? Not you either, Harvard Law School? I guess you're not as good as Missouri, then.

(If you haven't seen it, watch "Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room.")

Bobbleheadedness

Please use caution when attiring your pope bobblehead. (The ad is pretty funny.)

Third Annual PH4H NCAA Tournament Pick'em -- Final Scores

So, here are the final results of the Third Annual PH4H NCAA Tournament Challenge:

1. Andy: 242 points, 36 correct picks
2. Caroline: 227 points, 32 correct
3. Steve: 223 points, 42 correct
4. Dan: 204 points, 39 correct
5. Justin: 191 points, 40 correct
6. Jeff: 188 points, 37 correct
7. Aaron: 178 points, 37 correct
8. Bo: 173 points, 35 correct
9. Inbal:154 points, 35 correct
10. Rachel: 142 points, 17 correct
11. Dara: 140 points, 30 correct

Andy's win is surprising, considering Caroline was in the lead from the beginning. But it's even more shocking when you find out that Andy won the empanada bobblehead for coming in last place last year.

Third Annual PH4H NIT Pick-'em Challenge, Final Scores

The Men's NIT is now over, and Ohio State is your champion. Similarly, the Third Annual PH4H NIT Pick-'em Challenge is over, and Bo is the winner.

Here are the final standings:

1. Bo: 61 points, 25 correct picks
2. Dara: 39 points, 20 correct
3. Inbal: 38 points, 22 correct
4. Rachel: 25 points, 17 correct
5. Andy: 22 points, 16 correct
6. Jeff: 21 points, 16 correct
7. Dan: 19 points, 16 correct
8. Justin: 16 points, 13 correct

Bunson Honeydew!

Says the New York Times in an article today:

"Vowing to make New York City the center of the scientific universe — as it is for commerce, art and expensive dining — a panel of university presidents, Schools Chancellor Joel I. Klein of New York, the actor Alan Alda, the Columbia physicist Brian Greene and a Muppet announced plans on Wednesday for a World Science Festival to be held here at the end of May. ...

Popping up from behind the lectern, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, who described himself as being from Muppet Labs, extolled the family-oriented programs. The most important thing they could show, he said, was "that science can be as explosive and violent as any TV program."

Then he sprayed Dr. Greene with a can of silly string."

Third Annual PH4H NIT Pick-'em, Round 4

The Men's NIT Semifinals are now over, and the championship will feature Ohio State against UMass. Bo is the only one to have picked either of those teams, which is why he's going to be our winner. The only remaining question is by how much -- but that'll be determined after the championship game tomorrow night.

Here are the current standings:

1. Bo: 45 points, 24 correct picks
2. Dara: 39 points, 20 correct
3. Inbal: 38 points, 22 correct
4. Rachel: 25 points, 17 correct
5. Andy: 22 points, 16 correct
6. Jeff: 21 points, 16 correct
7. Dan: 19 points, 16 correct
8. Justin: 16 points, 13 correct

Your Brain on Cubs

You've heard about the book already, but I invite you to comment on it—on Amazon, on your own blog, on George Will's Newsweek column! And don't forget to come to the panel discussion on April 24 ... I just learned that I get to moderate it, which means I get to ask questions of Bobby Thomson, who hit a pretty famous home run.

More Your Brain on Cubs in the news:

• NPR's "Science Friday"
• Scientific American interview
• MLB.com story
• Chicago Daily Herald (book gets panned! The guy is clearly a White Sox fan with a distorted sense of humor)
• WJBC (Bloomington, Ill.)
• WGN news story
• CBS 2 (Chicago) news story (video is not posted)
• NBC 5 (Chicago) news story (video is not posted)
• Chicago Tribune
• Chicago Public Radio

Women's NIT Challenge, Third and Fourth Rounds

This is a few days behind.

Here are the scores after the third round of the 2008 PH4H Women's NIT Pick-'em challenge:

1. Jeff: 26 points
2. Justin: 22 points
3. Dara: 22 points
4. Dan: 20 points

And after the fourth round:

1. Jeff: 30 points
2. Justin: 26 points
3. Dara: 26 points
4. Dan: 20 points

Based on my calculations, none of us picked teams that can make it to the finals, so none of us can score any more points. So, Jeff wins!

Third Annual PH4H NCAA Tournament Pick'em -- Second Update

It's too bad, really. The Third Annual PH4H NCAA Tournament Challenge was designed to favor upsets, and this year, the tournament made history by having all four first seeds reach the final four. Oh well. Here are the standings going in to the last week:

1. Caroline: 227 points, 32 correct picks
2. Steve: 223 points, 42 correct
3. Dan: 204 points, 39 correct
4. Andy: 194 points, 34 correct
5. Justin: 191 points, 40 correct
6. Jeff: 188 points, 37 correct
7. Aaron: 178 points, 37 correct
8. Bo: 173 points, 35 correct
9. Inbal:154 points, 35 correct
10. Rachel: 142 points, 17 correct
11. Dara: 140 points, 30 correct

Women's NIT Challenge, Second Round

Meant to post this yesterday. Oh well.

Here are the scores from the second round of the 2008 PH4H Women's NIT Pick-'em challenge:

1. Jeff: 20 correct picks, 20 points, 44 possible points remaining
2. Justin: 18 correct picks, 18 points, 8 possible points remaining
3. Dan: 16 correct picks, 16 points, 8 possible points remaining
4. Dara: 16 correct picks, 16 points, 54 possible points remaining

Third Annual PH4H NIT Pick-'em, Round 3

The Men's NIT Quarterfinals are now over, and the final four are Ohio State, Mississippi, Florida, and Massachusetts. None of us got it exactly right, and only Inbal got 3 of the 4. Which is why she's the current points leader in a very close game.

Anyway, here are the current standings:

1. Inbal: 38 points, 22 correct
2. Bo: 37 points, 23 correct picks
3. Dara: 31 points, 19 correct
4. Rachel: 25 points, 17 correct
5. Andy: 22 points, 16 correct
6. Jeff: 21 points, 16 correct
7. Dan: 19 points, 16 correct
8. Justin: 16 points, 13 correct

The next games aren't until April 1st, so until then, here are some interesting-ish points to ponder:

• Jeff, Dan, and Justin are now mathematically eliminated.
• Four of eight of the Pick-'em participants picked Florida to win, but only three of them have any connection to the school or the state.
• One of those (me) believes that the finals will feature a repeat of last year's NCAA championship match, to the same result.
• Bo is an Ole Miss and Florida alum, yet he did not pick either to play in the finals.

Third Annual PH4H NCAA Tournament Pick'em -- First Update

Well, it's been a crazy week of upsets in the Third Annual PH4H NCAA Tournament Challenge. Here are the standings going in to the second week:

1. Caroline: 207 points, 32 correct picks
2. Steve: 175 points, 35 correct
3. Dan: 172 points, 35 correct
4. Justin: 159 points, 34 correct
5. Andy: 158 points, 29 correct
6. Bo: 149 points, 31 correct
7. Rachel: 142 points, 17 correct
8. Jeff: 140 points, 31 correct
9. Aaron: 138 points, 31 correct
10. Dara: 120 points, 27 correct
11. Inbal:118 points, 29 correct

Third Annual PH4H NIT Pick-'em, Round 2

The second round of the Men's NIT is now over, and the not-so-elite-eight are Ohio State, Dayton, Virginia Tech, Mississippi, Arizona State, Florida, Syracuse, and Massachusetts.

Bo actually got all eight right -- which would have been pretty amazing, if we weren't talking about the NIT.

Anyway, here are the current standings:

1. Bo: 29 points, 21 correct picks
2. Inbal: 26 points, 19 correct
3. Dara: 23 points, 17 correct
4. Jeff: 21 points, 16 correct
5. Rachel: 21 points, 16 correct
6. Dan: 19 points, 16 correct
7. Andy: 18 points, 15 correct
8. Justin: 16 points, 13 correct

Women's NIT Challenge, First Round

Here are the scores from the first round of the 2008 PH4H Women's NIT Pick-'em challenge:

1. Justin: 11 correct picks, 11 points
2. Jeff: 9 correct picks, 9 points
3. Dan: 8 correct picks, 8 points
4. Dara: 7 correct picks, 7 points

Third Annual PH4H NIT Pick'em Update -- Round 1

The scores from the first round of the 2008 PH4H Men's NIT Pick-'em challenge are in:

1. Dan: 13 correct picks, 13 points
2. Andy: 12 correct picks, 12 points
3. Bo: 12 correct picks, 12 points
4. Inbal: 12 correct picks, 12 points
5. Dara: 11 correct picks, 11 points
6. Jeff: 11 correct picks, 11 points
7. Rachel: 11 correct picks, 11 points
8. Justin: 10 correct picks, 10 points

Why I love The Onion

This might be the funniest thing I've seen about the election:

NIT Pick'em Challenge, continued

Here is the bracket for the 2008 Women's NIT. Games start tomorrow, so get it to me ASAP.

CBI pool

No NIT for your team (Jeff, Andy, Stephanie, all of you raucous Rider alumni)? Don't despair! The CBI comes to the rescue!

Everybody e-mail me your pick for the winner! (Brown all the way!) Winners receive endless admiration.

In the spirit of "NIT" standing for "Not In the Tournament," please also submit your ideas for what "CBI" stands for. "Couldn't Buy an Invitation," for example.

Third Annual PH4H NIT Pick-'em Challenge

You know what's even better than an NCAA Tournament Pick-'em Challenge designed to make you pick upsets? Yep, that's right -- the Third Annual PH4H NIT Pick'em Challenge. As we've said in the past, the NIT is truly in the spirit of PH4H, rewarding mediocre (at best) teams.

And yes, once again this year, we're having a contest for both the Men's and Women's NIT.

Here is the Men's bracket. (The Women's bracket will be available soon.) If you want to play, email me your bracket (or post a link to it in the comments) before the tip off of the first game tomorrow at 6pm.

Dessert Empanada Picture

Third Annual PH4H NCAA Tournament Pick'em

The PH4H Tournament league is back for the third straight year! Like last year, it utilizes a scoring system that uses a point multiplier based on seeding, to encourage picking upsets.*

And, in our inimitable fashion, the winners are the people with the highest and lowest scores (i.e., even if your picks stink, the only way you're not in the running is if you don't play).

So, if you played last year, all you need to do is log in with the same username and password, and you should automatically be back in the user group. If you didn't play last year, just go to the website (http://ph4h.mayhem.sportsline.com/e), and enter the password "reverse." Either way, once the brackets are released, all you need to do is make your picks before the tournament begins on March 20.

Good luck!



* Based on last year's poll results, I tweaked the scoring system a bit. The relative value for a correct pick in each round is now higher. The first round is worth 1 point, the second is two points, the third is four points, the fourth is eight points, the semi-finals are sixteen points, and the final game is thirty-two points. Of course, if you make a correct pick, those point values will be multiplied by the seeding of that pick.

Empanadas and the Economy

From the Express:

Rise of the Empanadas: Economy Down, Prices Up
IT'S A SIGN OF THE TIMES. As global food prices continue the rise and U.S. consumers worry about inflation, the price of one reliably low-cost snack has increased locally.

According to signs posted at local chain Julia's Empanadas, as of Monday, the price of the meat- and vegetable-filled pastries jumped by 23 cents, the first such increase in three years. So get ready to dig out some extra change for a saltenas empanada with chicken, potato, green peas, hard-boiled egg, green olives and onion, or a Chilean-style beef empanada with raisins, hard-boiled egg, onion and olives.

Perhaps such a price bump was inevitable as the nation frets about the state of the economy. As MSNBC reported late last month, the price of cheap eats — from pizza to bagels to even the famous "Recession Special" at Gray's Papaya in New York City — has been increasing.
And now, too, the simple empanada. Still, the stuffed pastry remains one of the cheapest options out there.

Congratulation Kerry Collins!

With the retirement of Brett Favre, Kerry Collins is the current active interception leader!

However, with 174 interceptions at 6 years old, and only 4 starts in the last 2 years, it's hardly likely Collins can catch Favre's 288 career interceptions.

Garfield Minus Garfield

Check out this website: Garfield Minus Garfield.

Elijah Dukes

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/20/AR2008022002742_2.html?sid=ST2008022002769

Looks like the Nationals are taking a chance on Dukes, hoping he will be like Young next year. I think PH4H should sponsor either the Comeback Player of the Year award or its counterpart, the Falldown Player of the Year Award. If this one works, I heard the Nat may sign Darrell Strawberry and Dwight Gooden.

Idiotarod

Yes. You read that correctly.

Not sure whether to laugh or cry

Oh, Virginia. You make me so proud.

PH4H General Election

Who will it be? Edwards or Giuliani?

Me. On the radio. (Via the Internet.)

I am scheduled to be on Chicago Public Radio's "848" program tomorrow morning, sometime between 10 and 11 a.m. Eastern time. You can listen, live or via a link afterward, via the 848 Web site. The segment is about a book I have edited, Your Brain on Cubs: Inside the Heads of Players and Fans, to be published in March by Dana Press. The book is about the role of the brain in both playing and being a fan of sports, with the Cubs as my team of choice (duh).

The interview is airing this early because this weekend is the Cubs Convention. Although the publication date is March, the book is available for preorder on Amazon (it's cheap, too!).

Bank Heist - Part Duh!

That's right, it happened again! He got away with $500,000 this time folks.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/01/11/AR2008011102173.html?hpid=moreheadlines

This Guy Must Have Prepped for his Bank Robbery by Watching Oceans-11

So this may be my first ever post to the blog, but a man "robbed" a bank completely unarmed (which means it's not a robbery) and got away with $100,000. The bank didn't even know they were robbed for 11 hours! If there were a Darwin award for companies...someone's gonna get fired.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/01/10/AR2008011004339.html?hpid=moreheadlines

This blog is WAY overvalued

So, I typed us into this website value calculator, and they came up with this:

My site is worth $71,520,156.
How much is yours worth?

Empanada Bowl Results

Congratulations, Debby. You kicked all of our butts in the First Annual PH4H Empanada Bowl.

It wasn't even close:

(names partially redacted to protect the mostly-innocent)

For those who like trivia, but weren't keeping up with the message board, here are some weird facts:

• Three of us picked the final score to be 28-24;
• Only one of those three picked Ohio State to win;
• Four of us picked the winning team's score to be 28;
• Five of us picked the losing team's score to be 24; and
• The losing team did, indeed, score 24 points.

Lesser-Known College Football Awards

From The Onion:

Ryan Zimmerman Catches a Ball With His Shirt

This happened on June 23rd.... how did I miss it?