"30 Years of Man's Life Disappear in Mysterious 'Kansas Rectangle'"

The Onion features a front-page story about Kansas this week. Makes me think back to wanting to steal the "Leaving Kansas" signs they post as you exit the state—to make you feel good about leaving, I suppose. Other highlights of the drive across the state, which apparently I should be glad I survived:

• Billboards advertising the world's largest prairie dog and a six-legged steer. It's a big tourist destination.
• A sign at a (closed) western Kansas gas station that read, "This station guarded by shotgun three nights per week. You guess which three."