Tuesday, August 07, 2007

How'd we miss this?

ESPN named its All-Bizarre Injury Team:

Manager: Roger Craig (Giants)
Cut his hand on a bra strap ... though we're guessing that's pain he played through.

Catcher: Mickey Tettleton (Tigers)
Once missed action with athlete's foot ... caused by tying his shoes too tight.

First Base: Ryan Klesko (Braves)
Once overexerted himself and pulled a muscle ... while picking up his lunch tray.

Second Base: Bret Barberie (Marlins)
Missed a game after rubbing chili juice in his eye ... probably after getting stuck behind John Kruk in morning stretches.

Shortstop: Rey Quinones (Seattle)
Once was unavailable for pinch hitting duty, because he had already returned to the clubhouse ... to play Nintendo.

Third Base: Wade Boggs (Red Sox)
Injured himself while pulling on his cowboy boots.

Outfield: Kevin Mitchell (Mets/Giants)
The master of all bizarre injuries, he once injured himself while eating a cupcake. That, of course, was when he wasn't missing games because of vomiting -induced muscle strains, or strained eyelids.

Outfield: Ken Griffey, Jr. (Mariners)
Missed a game after suffering a pinched testicle from his protective cup ... which explains why the whole "pain in the butt" thing just isn't phasing Jr.

Outfield: Oddibe McDowell (Rangers)
Yet another sad story of a baseball toughman getting taken out by food, he sliced his hand at the Texas welcome home luncheon while attempting to butter his roll.

Designated Hitter: Glenallen Hill (Blue Jays)
Went on the DL because of cuts suffered after smashing a glass table while dreaming he was being attacked by spiders ... anyway, that's his story, and he's sticking to it.

Bench: Terry Harper (Braves)
Separated his shoulder while waving a teammate home and subsequently high-fiving him.

Bench: Rickey Henderson (Blue Jays)
Missed a game because of frostbite ... in August.

Bench: Mark Smith (Orioles)
Injured his hand after sticking it in an air conditioner to "find out why it wasn't working."

Bench: Jose Cardenal (Cubs)
Missed a game in 1974 because he couldn't blink.

Bench: George Brett (Royals)
Broke his toe on a chair at his home while running from the kitchen to the TV to watch Bill Buckner hit.

Bench: Vince Coleman (Cardinals)
Missed the 1985 World Series after getting rolled up in the tarp machine.

Starting pitcher: John Smoltz (Braves)
Once burned his chest while ironing a shirt ... which he was still wearing.

Starting pitcher: Tom Glavine (Braves)
Redefining the phrase "star hurler," he broke a rib in 1992 after vomiting up airplane food.

Starting pitcher: Nolan Ryan (Astros)
Missed a start after being bitten on his hand ... by a coyote.

Starting pitcher: Carlos Perez (Expos)
Broke his nose in a car accident ... while trying to pass the team bus.

Starting pitcher: Doc Gooden (Mets)
Missed a start when Vince Coleman accidentally struck him with a golf club in the clubhouse.

Middle reliever: Steve Sparks (Brewers)
Dislocated his shoulder attempting to tear a phone book in half.

Middle reliever: Charlie Hough (Rangers)
Once broke his pinky ... shaking hands -- pinky shaking, that is.

Middle reliever: Ricky Bones (Marlins)
Went on the disabled list in 2000 after injuring himself while changing channels on the clubhouse TV.

Middle reliever: Greg Harris (Rangers)
Injured his wrist while flicking sunflower seeds in the dugout

Closer: Jason Isringhausen (Athletics)
Broke his hand while punching a trash can just weeks after stabbing himself in the leg trying to open a package.

2 comments:

Jeff said...

Bright guy, that Mark Smith. And to think he was an Orioles' first round draft pick.

violindan said...

What? No Sammy Sosa, sidelined because of a sneeze?