Speaking of PH4H eligilble...

Cracked has the top ten "Poor Sportsmen of the Year" for 2006.

Number 1? The entire Cincinnati Bengals.

Dontrelle Willis: PH4H-eligible?

Oh, Dontrelle. Before we just made fun of your crooked cap and that one time that we sat through a game in the center field seats where you pitched so well that the Marlins had a 12-run lead.

Now, thanks to your extracurricular activities, you might have earned yourself a spot on the PH4H roster.

A throw back to 2nd grade

An old favorite...

He's the Twistable Turnable Squeezable Pullable
Stretchable Foldable Man.
He can crawl in your pocket or fit your locket
Or screw himself into a twenty-volt socket,
Or stretch himself up to the steeple or taller,
Or squeeze himself into a thimble or smaller,
Yes he can, course he can,
He's the Twistable Turnable Squeezable Pullable
Stretchable Shrinkable Man.
And he lives a passable life
With his Squeezable Lovable Kissable Hugable
Pullable Tugable Wife.
And they have two twistable kids
Who bend up the way that they did.
And they turn and they stretch
Just as much as they can
For this Bendable Foldable
Do-what-you're-toldable
Easily moldable
Buy-what you're-soldable
Washable Mendable
Highly Dependable
Buyable Saleable
Always available
Bounceable Shakeable
Almost unbreakable
Twistable Turnable Man.

FYI

I migrated this blog to the new version of blogger today, so before y'all will be allowed to post, you'll be required to move your account over.

To migrate, click here.

The biggest difference should be that we can label our posts. I think a good protocol to follow is that, in addition to descriptive categories like "sports" or "humor," each of us label posts with our names in order to better keep track of them.

And if anyone is really bored, they can go back through the archives and tag their prior posts, too.


NOTE: If you're having a problem, send me a quick email and I can fix it very easily.

Of course that's his name

"Circumcision is 'not a magic bullet, but a potentially important intervention,' said Dr. Kevin M. De Cock, director of H.I.V./AIDS for the World Health Organization." (From a New York Times story about how circumcision reduces the risk of contracting HIV, especially in men)

PS2 Video Game Injures Key Tigers' Pitcher

During the baseball playoffs, the Detroit Tigers lost one of the most important members of their bullpen, Joel Zumaya, to injury. The Detroit Free Press reports that this injury was caused by Zumaya playing the Playstation 2 video game Guitar Hero. Will contracts need to have a video game playing clause?

Hot, live manatees

A hilarious story in the New York Times reports on a phenomenon that all began when Conan O'Brien threw away a line about www.hornymanatee.com — and NBC had to buy the license to that URL for liability reasons.

Criminal Fantasy Draft

For those of you who missed the PH4H playoffs (and for those, like me, that are likely to be eliminated tonight).... it's time to get ready for next year.

With the help of Cracked Magazine, I present to you a guide for drafting criminals.

Fantasy Meets Reality

ESPN reports that real football players are playing fantasy football. I wonder if any are in reverse leagues?

Last Call. . .

. . .to join the CD Club. So far the schedule is as follows, unless there are any objections. Any new people who want in will be put on at the end of the schedule.

Caroline - December
Dara - January
Jeff -February
Steve - March
Debby - April
Inbal - May
Gershon (who must identify himself more formally - send me an email at orangesage@gmail.com) - June
Justin (assuming your verbal commitment from Ted's holds) - July

I still have not figured out the best distribution method. Steve wants to get an airport locker, but that seems excessive. It also seems a little silly to mail them, since we all live in the same city. Thoughts?

That old phone

When I have time later I'll post some of the lovely sentiments I have received regarding this loss, but for now ...

Qualcomm QCP-2760, of Arlington, Va., formerly of St. Petersburg, Fla., and Denver, died Sunday, Dec. 3, 2006, after being dropped one too many times. The Sprint phone, 6, was known for its incredible longevity and for resembling a remote control.

Purchased in June 2000 at a Radio Shack in St. Louis, QCP-2760 traveled long distances with its owner and experienced thousands of hours of calls. It was initially purchased ahead of its owner's solo drive from St. Louis to Denver, where it then spent more than two months.

The phone lived in St. Petersburg from November 2000 to September 2002 before settling in the Washington, D.C., area in November 2002. QCP-2760 enjoyed brief autumn stints in Normal, Ill., in 2000 and 2002.

"One human year is probably 35 years in cell phone time, so this phone was really about 230 years old," said one friend who asked to remain anonymous because he is completely made up. "That's an old phone, right there."

The cell phone is survived by its owner, Dan Gordon of Arlington. Arrangements for a replacement cell phone with text-messaging capability, a vibrate function and a DC-area telephone number are pending. In the meantime, condolence and other calls should be directed to Gordon's home number.

Sports Weirdness

Last night, Justin blogged about the BCS while I was busy writing about college basketball. Clearly, we're in backwardsland.

As more evidence, check out this empanada bet e-mail conversation from mid-September:

On 9/17/06, Justin wrote:
My proposal.....

Higher ranking in the AP bowl at the end of the regular season..... Wisconsin (3-0, but so far unranked) or Florida State (2-1, ranked, but unimpressive looking).

If neither team is ranked at the end of the regular season and one team goes to a bowl and the other doesn't, the winner is the team that goes to a bowl.

If both teams go to a bowl and only one team wins its bowl game, that team is the winner.

If both teams win their bowl games, it goes to the team that scores more points in its bowl game.

If they score the same number of points in their respective bowl games, we randomly select a member of the PH4H blog, and we each buy that person an empanada.

Whaddaya think?

On 9/18/06, Dara wrote:

It's hard for me to bet on Florida State. It's way easier to make bets on stuff that I don't care about in order to give me something to root for.

Then again, Florida State can still win everything else for the rest of the season . . .

Fine. Whatever.

On 9/18/06, Justin wrote:
Wisconsin could go undefeated for that matter.