PH4H-inspired?

A comic strip from yesterday does us proud.

Dmitri Young's baseball card collection

. . . is worth almost $800,000.

Law school rock

Liz goes to law school with this guy. The whole thing is probably funnier if you went to law school or are going now. You know who you are.

PH4H Drink Specials

A bar in Seattle has a drink special that is true to the spirit of PH4H...

It's called Cheap Sex Mondays. Don't worry. It's not what you think.

On Mondays, the bar serves beer for the price of Richie Sexson's batting average. So, for example, This past Monday, when Richie was batting .212, a beer cost $2.12. On April 30, the low point of Richie's season, you could get a beer for $1.45.

Chad Cordero

You know it's a good day when your closer is singing, as opposed to blowing a 4-run lead:

PH4H Fantasy Football is Back!

Come one, come all to the 3rd year of the PH4H Fantasy Football League, "Who Let the Vicks Out?" Sign up here. League ID is 486081, password is "dogfighting". As usual, it's a "reverse" league- you get points for negative things happening (INTs, fumbles, etc.) and lose points for positive things (TDs, shutouts, etc.).

You can also join the more standard fantasy format here. League ID is 487040, password is "suspended".

CD Club.... I'm waiting....

Inbal, Gershon..... where are my tunes?

Watch Out for that Moose, Coco!

The Mariner Moose, mascot of the Seattle Mariners, crashed his All Terrain vehicle into Boston Red Sox outfielder Coco Crisp in the middle of the 5th inning in Sunday's game. The Mariners have decided that the Moose will not be disciplined.

How'd we miss this?

ESPN named its All-Bizarre Injury Team:

Manager: Roger Craig (Giants)
Cut his hand on a bra strap ... though we're guessing that's pain he played through.

Catcher: Mickey Tettleton (Tigers)
Once missed action with athlete's foot ... caused by tying his shoes too tight.

First Base: Ryan Klesko (Braves)
Once overexerted himself and pulled a muscle ... while picking up his lunch tray.

Second Base: Bret Barberie (Marlins)
Missed a game after rubbing chili juice in his eye ... probably after getting stuck behind John Kruk in morning stretches.

Shortstop: Rey Quinones (Seattle)
Once was unavailable for pinch hitting duty, because he had already returned to the clubhouse ... to play Nintendo.

Third Base: Wade Boggs (Red Sox)
Injured himself while pulling on his cowboy boots.

Outfield: Kevin Mitchell (Mets/Giants)
The master of all bizarre injuries, he once injured himself while eating a cupcake. That, of course, was when he wasn't missing games because of vomiting -induced muscle strains, or strained eyelids.

Outfield: Ken Griffey, Jr. (Mariners)
Missed a game after suffering a pinched testicle from his protective cup ... which explains why the whole "pain in the butt" thing just isn't phasing Jr.

Outfield: Oddibe McDowell (Rangers)
Yet another sad story of a baseball toughman getting taken out by food, he sliced his hand at the Texas welcome home luncheon while attempting to butter his roll.

Designated Hitter: Glenallen Hill (Blue Jays)
Went on the DL because of cuts suffered after smashing a glass table while dreaming he was being attacked by spiders ... anyway, that's his story, and he's sticking to it.

Bench: Terry Harper (Braves)
Separated his shoulder while waving a teammate home and subsequently high-fiving him.

Bench: Rickey Henderson (Blue Jays)
Missed a game because of frostbite ... in August.

Bench: Mark Smith (Orioles)
Injured his hand after sticking it in an air conditioner to "find out why it wasn't working."

Bench: Jose Cardenal (Cubs)
Missed a game in 1974 because he couldn't blink.

Bench: George Brett (Royals)
Broke his toe on a chair at his home while running from the kitchen to the TV to watch Bill Buckner hit.

Bench: Vince Coleman (Cardinals)
Missed the 1985 World Series after getting rolled up in the tarp machine.

Starting pitcher: John Smoltz (Braves)
Once burned his chest while ironing a shirt ... which he was still wearing.

Starting pitcher: Tom Glavine (Braves)
Redefining the phrase "star hurler," he broke a rib in 1992 after vomiting up airplane food.

Starting pitcher: Nolan Ryan (Astros)
Missed a start after being bitten on his hand ... by a coyote.

Starting pitcher: Carlos Perez (Expos)
Broke his nose in a car accident ... while trying to pass the team bus.

Starting pitcher: Doc Gooden (Mets)
Missed a start when Vince Coleman accidentally struck him with a golf club in the clubhouse.

Middle reliever: Steve Sparks (Brewers)
Dislocated his shoulder attempting to tear a phone book in half.

Middle reliever: Charlie Hough (Rangers)
Once broke his pinky ... shaking hands -- pinky shaking, that is.

Middle reliever: Ricky Bones (Marlins)
Went on the disabled list in 2000 after injuring himself while changing channels on the clubhouse TV.

Middle reliever: Greg Harris (Rangers)
Injured his wrist while flicking sunflower seeds in the dugout

Closer: Jason Isringhausen (Athletics)
Broke his hand while punching a trash can just weeks after stabbing himself in the leg trying to open a package.

Cardinals Position Players and their Pitching Stats

As many of you probably guessed, I spent somewhere around 10 hours of my weekend watching my beloved Cardinals get swept by the Nationals.

But all is not lost, clearly the highlight of the weekend is when, down 12-1 in the 8th inning, I got to watch Cardinals reserve infielder Aaron Miles make his pitching debut. And he was clearly the Cardinals best pitcher of the night, pitching a 1-2-3, eight-picth inning.

This is not the first time Tony La Russa has used this strategy... I know of at least 4 other times Tony has brought in position players during blowouts to eat up innings.

Here are some comparative stats....

Gary Gaetti, 1997.... 0.3 innings, one hit allowed, no walks, no earned runs.
Gary Gaetti, 1998.... 1 inning pitched, two hits allowed, no walks, no earned runs.

Gaetti also apparently pitched an inning for the Cubs in 1999.

Bobby Bonilla, 2001.... One inning, three hits, one walk, two earned runs. The two runs came via a home run by Erubiel Durazo.
Cody McKay, 2004.... Two innings, no hits, one walk, no earned runs.
Scott Speizio, 2007.... One inning pitched, no hits, one walk, no earned runs.

Pretty good track record for the Cards position player-ptichers! Although none of them ever recorded a strikeout.

Neifi Perez

Ruh-ro. Looks like Neifi's in some serious trouble. And it's not like it's helping his numbers:

The 34-year-old Perez is hitting .172 with one homer and six RBIs in 64 at-bats for the defending AL champions.

If you're going to take performance enhancing drugs, the least they should do is push you up over the Mendoza line.

PH4H "Inning of the Year" II

Thought this warrented being a post rather than a comment.

8 runs apiece for 2 pitchers in an inning is nice, but how bout this stat line from a game where Jason Jennings of the Astros gave up 11 runs in the first inning?

2/3 IP, 8 H, 11 R, 11 ER, 3 BB, 0 K, 2 HR, 39 pitches to give up the 11 runs.

PH4H "Inning of the Year"

PH4H doesn't need an Inning of the Year, you say?

I would have thought the same thing, but then came the second inning of today's Yankees-White Sox game, when Roger Clemens and Jon Garland gave up 8 runs apiece.

The fake news is imitating us!

Today's Onion sports section is ridiculously PH4H-like. Especially the part about Craig Biggio.

JESUS LIVES!

. . . and he works at Chef Geoff's in Washington, DC.

Øv!

Bet you haven't thought about how "D'oh!" translates into other languages. Well, now you have.

Asterisk Night at the Ballpark

In honor of all the recent "asterisk talk" around baseball, the Hagerstown Suns will host Asterisk Night tonight. The promotion includes a special where hot dogs will be priced at $7.56 and immediately discounted to $3. Barry Bonds has no comment.