A Royal Disgrace

The Kansas City Royals are a really bad team. As of today, they've won a mere 10 games and have lost 13 in a row, and they're already 22 games out of first place. So how do you drum up fan support? A group of Royals fans (yes, they really do exist) have an idea. They've created Royales With Cheese, a blog listing new promotions that the Royals could use to attract more fans to their games. Some of the promotions include replacing the basepaths with Crocodile Mile, a Matt Stairs and Runelvys Hernandez pie eating contest, and celebrity guest manager. The site also spotlights the Doug Mientkiewicz Fan Club, and Royals' highlights using Nintendo's RBI Baseball.

The perils of being "senior editor"

Yesterday, at my work address, I received an invitation to join AARP. I'm thinking of joining. The discounts, you know?

Maybe this will start a new streak

Check out the Governor Girlie Man bobblehead doll:

Breaking the streak

Alas, it's a baseball post, courtesy of The Onion.

Click this link

This site is so awesome that it hurts.

Celebrity Death Match

Looks like MTV might finally bring back Celebrity Death Match.

Pickles as inspiration

OK, this is weird.

Only two baseball posts today

Sports Illustrated on how Albert Pujols is the best thing to happen to baseball and the New York Daily News on how players' drinking binges might be affecting games.

One more reason not to go to O's games

You might get arrested for asking a cop for directions.

Shameless self-promotion

Check out the First Annual blah blah blog Summer Fiction Writing Contest.

Milestone

This is the blog's 200th post.

For the record, Caroline and Jason have each posted once, Steve has posted twice, Inbal and Dan have each posted 7 times, Jeff has posted 22 times, Justin has posted 41 times, which means that the other 119 were by me.

The rest of you -- Michelle, Leanne, Debby, Andy, and Rachel -- are lazy bums. (Amy, of course, is excepted, since she just joined yesterday.)

In more important news

Today, it was announced that Bobby Bowden's getting into the College Football Hall of Fame.

Are you bored?

These people must be. Maybe they should check out this site.

The Complete Text of Snoopy's Novel

Remember that novel that Snoopy is always typing in the Peanuts series? Someone took the time and compiled the complete text. Happy reading!

Jack Morris is super smart

Yogi Berra and Lance Berkman, meet Jack Morris:

Jack Morris was sitting in for Bert Blyleven as the color man on the local Twins broadcast during Monday afternoon's home game against the Chicago White Sox. He and play-by-play announcer Dick Bremer were talking about the expected rainy weather that was awaiting the Twins in Detroit.

"Michigan gets a lot of our weather," said Morris, a native of St. Paul. "Especially when it moves west to east."

Well, yeah. Especially then.

Morris is pretty good on the air. Kind of a poor man's Jim Kaat.

Flutie retires

I never thought this day would come, but, Doug Flutie retired today, at the age of 549.

Mark Buehrle

In case you missed it....

White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle gave up 7 runs in the first inning yesterday....

and got the win.

What's up with Texas running backs and drugs?

First Ricky Williams, and now this.

And for the record, five pounds of marijuana? That's a heck of a lot.

Barry Bonds v. Babe Ruth test

This is kind of like the test that Inbal posted, but about baseball.

Jack Bauer vs. Christmas tree

. . . straight to video.

Need a nap?

Try sleeping under your desk.

Was He-Man Gay?

Check this out:

The best part about rewatching He-Man, after the initial nostalgia-burst, was tracking the show's hilarious accidental homo-eroticism—an aspect I missed completely as a first-grader. In the ever-growing lineup of "outed" classic superheroes, He-Man might be the easiest target of all. It's almost too easy: Prince Adam, He-Man's alter ego, is a ripped Nordic pageboy with blinding teeth and sharply waxed eyebrows who spends lazy afternoons pampering his timid pet cat; he wears lavender stretch pants, furry purple Ugg boots, and a sleeveless pink blouse that clings like saran wrap to his pecs. To become He-Man, Adam harnesses what he calls "fabulous secret powers": His clothes fall off, his voice drops a full octave, his skin turns from vanilla to nut brown, his giant sword starts gushing energy, and he adopts a name so absurdly masculine it's redundant. Next, he typically runs around seizing space-wands with glowing knobs and fabulously straddling giant rockets. He hangs out with people called Fisto and Ram Man, and they all exchange wink-wink nudge-nudge dialogue: "I'd like to hear more about this hooded seed-man of yours!" "I feel the bony finger of Skeletor!" "Your assistance is required on Snake Mountain!" Once you start thinking along these lines, it's impossible to stop. (Clearly, others have had the same idea.) It's a prime example of how easily an extreme fantasy of masculinity can circle back to become its opposite.

(From Slate.)

Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh!

You remember watching reruns of "Welcome Back, Kotter" after school. Well, now you can look forward to the movie, with an obvious choice for the role of Kotter: Ice Cube.

Celebrities have opinions too.

McConaughey on Bonds.

Strangely, Matthew McConaughey's view is not all that unlike the one shown on Bonds on Bonds:

If Barry Bonds did take steroids or not, even if you think he did or didn't, you gotta root for him because, whatever is true, or whatever you believe, he's clean now. Fact and perception.
So every home run he hits, like the mammoth 452-footer he hit in Philadelphia May 7, is a hit, a home run — for Barry, for baseball. It's a clean pursuit of the record, by maybe the greatest home run hitter ever to play the game.
***
Ironically, in a nation whose judicial system says we are all "innocent until proven guilty," we like to think of him as a guilty man who just hit an innocent home run, but that's another story for human nature and socio-psychology.

Color test

Try this quick test. Its much harder than it looks

Evolution of Dance video

PH4H Blog
My sister forwarded this video to me. It's a hilarious dance routine by a comedian where he does everything from the moonwalk to the "worm". It's awesome!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg

Idol and other thoughts

Until this year I looked down on American Idol and refused to watch, but this season I have succumbed to peer pressure and decided to watch. Now I’m sorry that I did. I know you can’t trust the public at large to choose the president, but I thought that at least they could pick the best singer/entertainer. This article summarizes my feeling on the subject.

Here are some cool links I came across:

1. Seinfeld Scripts - the scrips from almost every Seinfeld episode
2. The Speach Accent Archives - This a very cool GMU web site where you can hear accents form all over the world.
3. Headlines from around the world - The Newseum is still closed, but there website is still up and running

Actually all these links and many more were complied by some one else on this website akavish.com, but the website is in Hebrew, which most of you can’t read.

more schadenfreude

Yes, I've been watching Bonds on Bonds. It amuses me.

Here's ESPN's counterpoint: Babe on Babe. Funny stuff.

Not so funny? The idea that the authors of the book detailing Bonds' steroid use might be going to jail over the First Amendment.

ha ha ha yankees suck ha ha schadenfreude ha ha ha ha

George Steinbrenner hates his team. Especially Alex Rodriguez.

And, as an aside, if you're paying someone $25 million a year, the least you can do is learn his name.

Just plain weird

Check out this article about Pedro Martinez gardening. Seriously.

Interesting point

According to this article, Barry Bonds surpassing Babe Ruth's record isn't that bad -- because, historically, he's not the worst cheater in baseball.

Baseball pictures and video

Here is a picture of Caroline and Steve -- in full rally mode -- at tonight's Nationals game:

Even better, here's the video of them singing along to "Sweet Caroline":

Pictures from last weekend

Here are some pictures from Stephanie's bowling party last weekend.

Cristian Guzman update

As anticipated, Cristian Guzman -- who, along with Ricky Williams, is the PH4H poster child -- is officially out for the rest of the season.

Save a life

There's a nationwide bone marrow registration drive taking place Mother's Day weekend (May 12-14), including in DC and four locations in the Maryland suburbs. You are no more than two degrees separated from someone who is in urgent need: Matt, a kid I know from Camp Rainbow, will receive a bone marrow transplant in coming weeks, and they have found only a partial match. You could be the perfect match. Registering is free and the test is a simple mouth swab—no blood test, no pain, nothing invasive. Please bring and/or tell your friends and families as well.

Baseball news

Everyone seems to be talking about the Lerner thing, but I think this is more important: Kirby Puckett's children are fighting for custody of his ashes. First Ted Williams, now this.

Strange

Did anyone else catch that last night, Frank Robinson used Livan Hernandez as a pinch hitter?

Fun with headlines

This New York Post headline is very funny.

Now Even the Cows Have a Blog!

Moooooove over YouTube and Google Video, and make way for MooTube! The site, run by PBS, takes a glance at the daily life of Texas Longhorn cattle, and features "Cow Cam". There's even a cow blog and a cow of the day!

Fun for girls and boys

Check out this picture collection of iconic sports hairdos.