Monday, June 25, 2007

Guzman out for year; Colome's "infection"

I never thought I'd be so sad about this:

Washington Nationals shortstop Cristian Guzman, enjoying a renaissance year after two years of injuries and poor performance, is likely out for the remainder of the season after he injured his left thumb in Sunday's victory over the Cleveland Indians. Manager Manny Acta said this afternoon here that Guzman underwent surgery to repair ligaments in his thumb this afternoon, and that "there is a chance" he might come back later this season, but several club officials believe that's unlikely.

In funnier news, is anyone else amused that some news sources are referring to Colome's infection as being in his "right lower extremity," while others are saying it's his butt?

Friday, June 22, 2007

A clear sign

You know your team is bad when the 85,000 bobbleheads they order up are of the racing presidents. Rejected idea: the Dmitri Young bobblebelly (though a Google search for "bobblebelly" reveals that Screech has one).

UCLA Signs 8th Grader

UCLA signed an 8th grader to play point guard... in 2011.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Hey now, you're an All-Star

Here's the second annual PH4H All-Star Ballot:

This year, instead of going with the points leaders for the league, we passed the ballot around at tonight's Nationals game, and chose players based on a simple theme -- "disappointment." And generally speaking, that's the spirit of the whole league anyway.

Here are our choices:

National League:

  • 1B Nick Johnson (We're disappointed that he hasn't played, and might not play again for some time.)

  • 2B Craig Biggio (I'm not really sure on this one. Maybe we're disappointed that he's still playing at 42? Plus, he's only batting .238.)

  • SS David Eckstein (Cards fan Justin is clearly disappointed with his production, although .313 seems ok to me.)

  • 3B Pedro Feliz (Stated reason: "Vote for Pedro!" Plus, he's hitting .255.)

  • C Michael Barrett (It's always a little strange when a catcher gets in a fist-fight with his own pitcher.)

  • OF Andruw Jones (Considering his history, .202 and 11 HR are really disappointing numbers. And he spells his name wrong.)

  • OF Juan Pierre (He's been caught stealing 7 times, so he's not that fast anymore. But his average is up as of late.)

  • OF Alfonso Soriano (For all that money, it was disappointing that he didn't hit a home run for the first month of the season.)

  • P Carlos Zambrano (We were disappointed that he didn't hurt Barrett worse in the fight.)

American League:
  • 1B Jason Giambi (We're disappointed that he used steroids. And that he's dumb enough to tell USA Today about it.)

  • 2B Josh Barfield (.257. Or, as Dan said, "Cause you can't spell 'Barfield' without 'Barf.'")

  • SS Julio Lugo (He's hitting .205. Plus, we're disappointed that Mike Lowell turned out to be good this year.)

  • 3B Alex Gordon (At .216, he clearly hasn't lived up to the hype. Although, is it really 'hype' when we're talking about Kansas City?) (Note: There were two good arguments for Alex Rodriguez here: First, that the other players are disappointed that he's so good. Second, that his wife must be disappointed in his behavior with the strippers, etc. Neither of these carried the day.)

  • C Gerald Laird (.245. But really, it was because the Rangers are currently the worst team in the league, so clearly, they needed to be represented.)

  • OF Jose Guillen (.263 with 9 HR -- it's not just RFK. And personally, I'm disappointed that he hasn't thrown a tantrum yet.)

  • OF Vernon Wells (.249 with 6 HR. Blame Canada.)

  • OF Jay Gibbons (.210 with 3 HR. Orioles fan Jeff was disappointed that they didn't fire him instead of Sam Perlozzo.)

  • P Danys Baez (A lot of money for a 6.52 ERA. That and Sidney Ponson wasn't eligible.)

For those who want the points leaders, here they are, based on all points accumulated through June 19:

National League:
  • C Miguel Olivo, Florida Marlins

  • 1B Adam LaRoche, Pittsburgh Pirates

  • 2B Felipe Lopez, Washington Nationals

  • 3B Ryan Zimmerman, Washington Nationals

  • SS Alex Gonzalez, Cincinnati Reds

  • OF Andruw Jones, Atlanta Braves

  • OF Austin Kearns, Washington Nationals

  • OF Jeff Francoeur, Atlanta Braves

  • P Woody Williams, Houston Astros

American League:
  • C Jason Kendall, Oakland Athletics

  • 1B Aubrey Huff, Baltimore Orioles

  • 2B Josh Barfield, Cleveland Indians

  • 3B Alex Gordon, Kansas City Royals

  • SS Tony Pena Jr., Kansas City Royals

  • OF David DeJesus, Kansas City Royals

  • OF Delmon Young, Tampa Bay Devil Rays

  • OF Jose Guillen, Seattle Mariners

  • P Daniel Cabrera, Baltimore Orioles

Note: These are the points leaders at the position they are eligible for on the All-Star Ballot, if they play more than one position.

Has anyone else seen this yet?

Ryan Zimmerman has been writing a weekly column for The Examiner documenting this season.

I wonder what he's going to say about yesterday's 15-1 loss to the Tigers.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Orioles Mad Lib

An Orioles fan posted this on the Orioles Hangout message board. It's what a recent O's (or Nats, or Cubs...) game report might look like using Mad Libs:

The Orioles were (past tense verb) today by the (other team name). Despite the (adjective) effort of (Orioles starting pitcher), (adjective) hitting and (adjective) relief pitching doomed the team to its (number) loss in a row. Though the Orioles opened up an early lead due to a/an (noun) by (Orioles hitter), (Other Orioles hitter) grounded into (number) double plays in (same number) consecutive at-bats, stranding a total of (number) men on base. The bottom (number) spots of the batting order went a combined 0-for-(number) in/with (crucial game situation). Though the Orioles had an (adjective) (number)-(number) lead after the sixth inning, manager Sam Perlozzo pulled (Orioles starting pitcher) after a/an (adjective) error allowed (opposing team player) to reach base, despite his having thrown only (number) pitches. (Orioles relief pitcher) entered the game and (adverb) surrendered (number) consecutive walks followed by a/an (adjective) home run by (another opposing team player), which put the (other team name) ahead for good, (number)-(number). Despite a/an (adjective) comeback attempt, including a (promising game situation) in the bottom of the ninth, Jay Gibbons (past tense unspectacular and demoralizing way to lose a game). When asked about his (adjective) reasons for removing (Orioles starting pitcher) from the game, Sam Perlozzo replied, “(stereotypical baseball analogy).” Having gone 0-4 in the game, (Yet another Orioles player)’s batting average drops to .(number). Game time: (time). Attendance: (number).

Monday, June 11, 2007

Hear me on a podcast!

I submitted a "musically challenged" trivia segment that was used on the latest episode of Coverville. You can hear me try to stump the Brian and Tina at the 29:20 mark of the newest episode.

Belgian Waffle

Belgium's Prime Minister has resigned, and it is expected to be awhile before a new coalition government is formed. In a country where half the nation speaks French and the other half speaks Dutch, is it any wonder they're having trouble forming a government?

The article also mentions that the former Belgian National Judo coach was elected to Parliament. I wouldn't want to go up against him in any parliamentary debates!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Can You Say Lawsuit?

A dozen Annapolis, MD, police officers raided the wrong apartment yesterday, kicking down the door, setting off a percussion grenade, and kicking a man in the groin before realizing their mistake. Said the Annapolis mayor in response, "This is not good."

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Taking a Ride

Someone at work forwarded this to me. I thought it was funny an the guy next to me actually laughed out loud

Monday, June 04, 2007

Fun with sports clichés posted a commencement address made up entirely of quotes from sports movies.

Billy Donovan

I got this letter on Friday, but it seems awfully ironic after today's events.

Leave it to ESPN to make light of the whole thing. In particular, this struck me as funny:

Friday, June 01, 2007

Roger Clemens, Scientist?

From a Baltimore Sun article about the health risks from grilling:

"Roger Clemens, a spokesman for the Institute of Food Technologists and professor of molecular pharmacology and toxicology at the University of Southern California, says he is similarly unconvinced...."

I know Roger Clemens is a future Hall of Famer, but I didn't know he was that talented.... You'd think with $18 million a year from the Yankees he'd have enough money without taking a second job. :-)